She Falls Asleep
by MyStateOfMind
Summary: She falls asleep and all she thinks about is you... OneShot


**I hereby apologise for the angst you're about to read. If you don't want depressing, don't carry on reading. Press the back button on your browser now. I've had a bad day and while I wanted to sit down and write something for Believe In Me, nothing happy would come and I ended up with this saved in my Word Document. The song is She Falls Asleep by McFly, and it's truly an amazing song - YouTube it - and the story is based around it. There are no names, so you can imagine who it is yourself. Personally, it was Shane and Mitchie for me (as much as it pained me to think that) but anybody works. Again, I'm sorry if it totally sucks and makes you amazingly depressed, but I'm feeling angsty. And I wanted to tell you that there will be an update on Believe In Me within the next few days, once my coursework is out of the way. I have 7 more graphs to analyse. Wish me luck, huh? And for the record, I do not own Camp Rock or this amazing song.**

_She falls asleep and all she thinks about is you _

_She falls asleep and all she dreams about is you _

_When she's asleep the air she's breathing is for you _

_And why she wants to live _

_She's not got that much more to give _

Sleep.

It doesn't come. To either of them. For similar reasons, though they seem so different because they're occurring to different people. Different reactions. As is expected - no two people are the same. We cannot expect two people, even in exactly the same situation, to act in exactly the same way. That isn't how the human race works. We all think differently, act differently, _react_ differently.

But now they're both awake, unable to drift off into the land of dreams where they could both escape for a while. Where they could run from what they were feeling and pretend for those few glorious hours of sleep that nothing was wrong. That they didn't feel like they were the most lonely people in the world.

Of course, it's illogical to believe that they were the most lonely people in the world. They couldn't be. He had thousands of adoring fans, his managerial team, his family back home. She had a family, friends, classmates. As a rule, lonely people don't have all of those people around them. But rules were always meant to be broken.

The simple fact of it was, they needed each other. More than they could bear to admit. Because admitting it meant also acknowledging that they couldn't do anything about it. Not without causing massive disrupt in both of their lives. He couldn't get out of his career that easily. She couldn't go with him. There was no way. Which made it all the more unbearable.

_She sits alone, on her phone _

_And she's calling about her broken home _

_And I don't know what I should say cause she's crying _

_And feels as though she's thrown it all away _

_She won't last another day _

He was used to it. He was used to being away from people. That didn't make it any easier, of course not, but he could survive it. As annoyed as he made his band mates and as much as they hated him for his constant supply of 'I miss her' comments, he would get through it. He didn't have to put up with everything that she did either. He had to put up with screaming fans and being on the move, but that was the worst of it. And as much as he tried to, in her nightly phone call in which they usually both ended up upset over the fact that they weren't with each other, he just couldn't understand. He just didn't get it. But she didn't feel as though she could expect him to.

He'd never been to public school. He hadn't had to endure the torment of walking in there everyday and having to put up with the constant stream of hatred that came her way. The fact that she was dating him didn't make her school life any easier. They jeered over the fact that she was being thrown aside by him so that he could go on tour. Teased her about the fact that her boyfriend was probably off, hooking up with some prettier, sexier, more extravagant groupie. Told her that she wasn't good enough to be with him. She wasn't good enough to be dating him. And while he reassured her constantly that it wasn't true, there was that doubt.

It had started off in the back of her mind. But as nights went by and she missed him more, it grew. It grew, and grew and grew until she became convinced that he was sticking with her out of sympathy. He felt sorry for her. There was no love. How could there be? She wasn't _lovable. _

Her mom and dad were constantly fighting now too. Over petty things that would have never concerned them before. Over big things that they would have usually tried to fix instead of just arguing about them. The shouting got louder and louder as each day in the calendar was ticked off. Some nights she just had to drown it out with music. Or she'd sit in the shower with the water on full blast, fully clothed and watching the water run down the glass sides. That was almost literally drowning it out. Any way to drown it out.

The nightly phone calls with him were her only lifeline. For that hour each night she was able to forget everything else. She even forgot about him not loving her. Sure, she usually ended up crying - he did too sometimes - but for an hour a day she could just... forget. And wasn't that what everyone wanted to do? Forget the bad times in their lives for just a short while?

Unfortunately for her, the bad times much outweighed the good.

He never knew what to say when she started crying. It pained him; not being there to hold her and tell her that he loved her. But there was nothing else he could do. Often he got the sneaking feeling that there was something that she wasn't telling him, or something that she was keeping from him. But whenever he asked - and _really_ asked, pushing the question as much as he dared - she would avoid the question, and tell him that she was fine. She was okay.

If only he hadn't been so trusting. If only he'd just... pushed a little more. Asked the question in a different way. Told her that he did love her and that he'd see her in only a few days and then everything really would be okay.

_You're climbing the stairs, unaware that she's hurting _

_Bad and lying very still on the floor by the door _

_But it's locked 'cause she was hoping _

_You would come back for more _

_But it's too late to realize you've made mistakes _

He got to hers at midnight. The tour had ended, the final encore over and now he had months to be with her. The next one wouldn't be that bad. The next one she'd be with him and they would never have to be lonely again. No more phone calls, or crying.

The shouts of her parents could be heard indoors, muffled. He had to knock on the door a few times before anybody heard and even then he seemed to be a subject of tension in the family. Or that's what it could have seemed to him. She could have told him that they were just fighting over anything and everything imaginable. It was nothing personal.

Stairs.

In a way, the stairs were conquered in minutes. They were the only barrier between him and her. Excitement. Apprehension. He wanted her. Needed her. And there were only steps in between them now. Forget states and towns, highways and interstates... mere steps.

On the other hand, they were precious seconds. Ticking. Tick. Tick. Tick.

_She falls asleep and all she thinks about is you _

_She falls asleep and all she dreams about is you _

_When she's asleep the air she's breathing is for you _

_Are why she wants to live _

_She's not got that much more to give _

She was fading. The sleep hadn't wanted to come to her and so she'd decided to bring it herself. Bring the sleep that she'd never thought she'd crave this much this early. Who needed six hours when you could have the rest of your life?

This was not who she wanted to be. The girl, lying on the bedroom floor, watching the life fade from her own eyes in the mirror that she'd looked in so often before right now. The mirror that she'd sung into her hairbrush in front of, or posed in before she went out on a date with him.

This was not who she wanted to be.

But, as she stared herself down in the mirror, she realised that it was odd. This girl in the mirror looked fearless. Strong. When you're falling asleep, what is there to fear anymore? Nothing.

She was ugly.

Stupid.

He didn't love her; he couldn't love her.

Her parents were unhappy.

Escape route. Way out. Done.

_Please save me _

_I've been waiting, _

_Been aching far too long_

"No!"

The word echoed around the house. The shouting from below stopped. The word stretched out in front of everyone as though it were actually visible. When time stops, you can see the words you've just said. Is that how it goes?

Screaming.

Shouting.

Shaking.

Crying.

No.

No.

No.

"I love you."

_She falls asleep and all she thinks about is you _

_She falls asleep and all she dreams about is you _

_When she's asleep the air she's breathing is for you _

_Are why she wants to live _

_She's not got that much more to give _

Sleep.

It will never come. To either of them. For completely different reasons now. She can never sleep again. Her state is a permanent sleep. It doesn't count. She can't ever sleep again because she _is _sleep.

His state is not sleep, though it might as well be. Zombie-like. The undead. He can't do anything anymore, because everything is wrong. He cannot even escape into the dream world, where anything can happen. Because she was there in his sleep. She was there when he was awake. There. She was there.

As a rule, when people die they're gone from the world forever.

Rules were always meant to be broken.

_Please save me _

_I've been waiting..._


End file.
